Marriage Advice

I must assume that you agree about the future plan for kids. It does not matter what the plan is, but, I had a good friend who thought he would change his wife's mind - he did not and eventually they divorced - so sad. Great couple in all other ways.

#1) Conflict resolution. "fight fair" - stick to the actual conflict and do not attack each other personally.
- Do not drag in unrelated things, especially if they happened a long time ago.
- Really understand what the other person's concern is.
- Be able to admit mistakes and forgive - assume that will happen sooner rather than later.
- Marriage counseling. We have been 3 times in 33 years. It was worth it.

#2) Stay on the same team. Sometimes there will be an issue that could divide you the couple or the couple from the other family members.
- Chose each other - especially in public. If it is a mistake, it can be worked out in private between the two of you and then corrected in public.
- Back each other up with the kids. Again, if it is something that needs to be worked out, do it in private.

now the easier ones:

#3) Go out in the world together - just the 2 of you - and do new things.

#4) improve intimacy. We met 35 years ago and we are still learning.

2016.09.24 (sent to Masa 2011.11.11) (jch)